Tuesday, 16 March 2010

From Average to Awful, via Superfluous

When 8 Bells Toll, based on a Alistair MacLean novel, is a Bond esque spy romp with a young Anthony Hopkins as the frog suited hero. It's not bad I suppose, a nicely paced adventure about some missing gold bullion of the west coast of Scotland and there's some good banter between Hopkins and his boss played marvelously by Robert Morley but the plot is hackneyed to say the least.

Descent 2 is a sequel to the US version of the caving horror flick and it's ok but lacks the erm bite of the original. Dragging the only survivor of the first film back down the caves, a sheriff and some rescue peeps trapse around the now strangely well lit caves looking for the rest of the team. Peppered with flashbacks to the original this barely musters any atmosphere from the setting and spends most of the time setting up cheap shock-scares and splashes of gore and then it finishes it all off with a nutty twist ending. Hohum who says Merican movies are all dumb ?

Never read PJF's Riverworld saga but the whole "everyone who's ever lived wakes up on the side of a ginormous river" idea sounds cool. They've tried before to bring it to the small screen with little success but after watching SyFy's new 3hr pile-o-shite it looks like they should just give up. Helo and Gaeta from BSG wash ashore in this terrible, cheap, badly scripted & very, very stoopid nonsense. Presumably the cast was gambling on who could be the worst actor throughout as the quality ranges from ham to cheese to wood. Maybe it was made for kids or the mentally soft or something but if I were you I wouldn't bother and for fans of the books pray it doesn't get picked up for more.

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